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Post by Thayta on Dec 30, 2014 14:19:51 GMT -5
Thayta Larr was born and raised on Narr Shaddaa. His father left when he was 5 and
was a notorious smuggler. Thayta was ashamed of this fact and was dead set on proving those
who claimed he would follow that path wrong. Thayta's mother had been ill for as long as he
could remember, which didn't stop her from providing for the two of them, unfortunitly she
was forced to leave Thayta unsupervised most of the time. Thayta, with a lack of parental
guidence, developed a habit of decieving to get out of trouble, which his mother called a
"smugglers tounge". Despite these occasional bad situations, Thayta managed to get into the
officer academy. He showed promise until his mothers condition took a bad turn and required
expensive medication which they could not afford. Left with no choice, Thayta had to drop
out of the academy and locate a few of his fathers old contacts. Smuggling was Thaytas only
chance of making money fast enough to save his mother. After convincing a few contacts, he
managed to get an advance on a ship and a short route running illegal stims across Narr
Shaddaa, which set him deep into debt. Thayta's "smuggler tounge" proved useful and he was
close to the money he needed for his mother. Just a week shy of this last needed payday,
Thayta's mother died. The last straw binding thayta to this life was nearly being caught by
dock security upon arrival of the last shippment. Though nothing was proven and his case
was dropped, Thayta was discredited and unable to return to the academy, and unable to stop
smuggling due to his new debt. As if a final laugh from the galaxy, the ship he had
purchased turned out to his fathers. Thayta's life was now decided for him, and no one had been
proven wrong... other than him.
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Post by Thayta on Feb 6, 2015 23:21:22 GMT -5
Me, a leader? Ha!
ok so... My whole life I just wanted to show I wasn’t the bad guy. Like my dick of a father. Like everyone said I would be. of course right? A kid on Nar with no father? What the fuck else could I become? the choices were dead or criminal. "What did you say? A law enforcer? HAHA fucking HA! Oh my god, kid, I don’t think I'll ever stop laughing...." ..just in case you were curious what EVERYONE sounded like when I told them...
Oh right... back to the leading thing. So second in command is nice, I get 49 percent of the say and none of the blame. That’s how it’s been at this school, on paper I’m just a student. but I've been involved in this since it was just an idea Hez would bring up in a drunken slur once or twice a week. Just another rant on a long list of the stories I heard and reheard tending that bar. but he did it, a school, a staff, allies... strong allies, and me? I have to joke about my ass in the uniform because I cant show for one god damn second how much I care about this place. I cant handle a serious moment.. I feel so.... so.....
ever since I was little it was nothing but serious moments.. My mother crying over either my absent dad or the over due medical bills... but something else too.. a name.. "My little Kadern"? Never met the guy... probably another asshole, like the doctors or "THE" Thaxis Larr, the notorious smuggler! A man so talented he smuggled himself right out of a family... Fucking impressive right?
Oh right... back to the leading thing... So Hez was taken a week ago, Clan Deshar came and took him by force. Awn was there helping them... oh don’t even get me started on her...
ok.. So the thing about Awn is... I watched her die, I had never spoke to her, she was set to marry my friend Adam.. and this girl Cadoka. But one disapproving father-in-law decided hed rather see a dead girl than a marriage involving three people. So he goes to kill her.. Adam causes his distraction and then yells "Thayta get her out of here", no hesitation on my part. My vision was.. blurry, danger doesn’t scare me but a girl’s life in the balance? I was a wreck. I throw myself as hard as I can to her wrist, clasping tight and reversing my direction, I made three footsteps into my rescue when everything went white. I felt a cold wall hit my side, turning out to be the floor, I looked up to find a man standing over me... and just behind him I saw Awn, a saber through her chest.
As the reader knows she didn’t stay dead, who does? When she came back I tried everything to help her... to make up for my failure. she makes mistake...after mistake...after mistake, but it will never matter. She can bury herself each night and I will still tirelessly jab my shovel to her rescue. Not for her love, she can keep it, not for her body... she can keep it.
Oh right... back to the leading thing... So one week ago Hez was taken, and he told me I was in charge. ME? I don’t call myself useless hoping to be corrected. I don’t fight, it was never my job, why is that so dishonorable? MOST of the people I meet I could best, but this bar consists of nothing but super-species fucks. Survivors at all costs, never trust, never love, never let your guard down, WHAT THE FUCK FOR? What kind of life is that? So I’m useless and weak because I believe in surviving to live, not living just to survive.
But of course I accepted the order given, I would bleed my own blood into this school's veins if it needed it, I've never been afraid of dying, and throwing myself life first at my challenges is probably the shock factor that’s makes me succeed. A.. Passion? If that word fits here, that others don’t throw like I do. Skill aside... our souls are equal and any man putting every fiber into his goal will reach it.
So here I sit, in the lounge of the School. A Black Ale at my side... three emptied glasses next to it. And a data pad on my lap. The suns been dead for hours, I don’t miss it, it always brings trouble. Rinoa... the fucking bitch.. just took off with the enemy, she wasn’t just a teacher, she was a friend.. for a long time.. one of those people I trusted enough to die for. My logic on trusting my friends with my life is shaking near collapse. Maybe I don’t judge as well as I thought...
I remember the first night I came to the Slippery Slopes, a soldier named Callem I had been running with for the previous weeks decided we should go.. He didn't stay long but I did. Tikarra was serving drinks, cute face.. well.. all thirty percent of it that I could see under that hood. I spoke to her.. a Sith of the empire, she was... kind. Mysterious in a way that has yet to be topped. but kind, she was let off duty by a Blue gentleman, also empire? Talking to me... no gun on his side.. serving drinks to jedi and sith alike.. I knew in a moment that this place was all on its own... and I wanted it.. all of it. The blue gentleman of course was Hez.. he opened my eyes to a perspective blind to the line slicing the imps and pubs in half.. and my eyes have been fixed there ever since.
So anyway.. I've been training, every waking minute, back in the best of days when I was threatened atleast 6 girls and Adam jumped to my rescue, noble of me? not at all... but fun? God yes... but no more... Adam's dead, Wynter ran off, her heart belonged to Voss, I was just renting it. Crystaal... The strangest relationship I've ever had, with mixed looks between eye fucking and brutal beatings so close together I swear she practiced in front of a mirror.
Regene is back finally, every time she leaves we all almost die. She's so official.. so.. Jedi. but only the compassionate side, never preachy or cold. Looks at a scoundrel like me and a Jedi like Tifas in the same way. Something even Wynter didn't do. She never said it but I knew she didn’t approve of my job. Speaking of smuggler.. Torri was the first to show me attention in the manner I refer, a pregnant badass with decision making skills so familiar I thought Awn was teaching classes on it. Torri gave birth on my ship actually, hiding out with me to avoid... someone. I wonder how they are doing...
And of course Aveena... with questionable actions as of late but... I know she has a reason. If hez hasn’t lost faith in her I cant. I.. I want to rant about the good times, in the past.. when she called herself Hez's and me and Adam would drunkenly sing about the babies they would have. I would give my life with no chance of return for one more night like that, So many people whose lives had no reason to cross, all sharing drinks, dancing and joking. I truly believe it’s the only redemption this galaxy has. Truly believe... even the people claiming they trust no one.. I saw the looks in their eyes. Sharing drinks, yelling about loneliness to each other, arguing over who was the most alone, but they argued TOGETHER... every night. They never saw why that was ironic to me. I miss Avee so much, she is my sister.. or mother? Mother... she yells at me like one, protects me like one. I want her back.. the way she was.. with Hez.. she could make him smile and they both could make me smile.
Adam... My brother. A fucking mix of temper and ego. He had to be the best at everything and would argue... and argue... and argue his point no matter how small... He was stubborn and only listened to one person, me. No clue why. I hadn't known him long and already proved I couldn't offer much. But he wouldn't shoot if I told him not to, no one else could do that. He... He killed himself, shortly after the Awn thing.... he never came to me about it... just jumped from the promenade. I failed him too, I'm running out of hands to count on.
Lastly on my list, a girl who wasn’t much part of my life but had more place in the group than me, Asori. Months of what I’ll still call friendship without a word spoken. She was there and so was I, I feel like it was a friendship we could easily access at any point, we just didn’t need to, we had enough friends. But it was still there, make sense? Your right, that’s stupid. She just doesn't like me. Now why am I making this file? My words are best left in the moment that prys them out, not to be flowing into a data pad late at night, broken ribs that I still haven’t been to the med center for. Violet-Sky laying in poor condition, such a cute girl, even the scrunched face she makes when she moves her fractured limb... She's still a mystery to me, I think I've left it that way on purpose. I like the feeling she gives, like a wrapped gift.
...So why have my ribs remained broken? Maybe I just haven’t made it to the med center yet, maybe I’m in too much pain, too tired, maybe I don’t feel safe leaving with ..them.. still out there.... maybe... maybe I just deserve the pain, each breath reminding me of my failures. I try.. I swear on ..her.. grave I try.. I swear on the railing he dove from.....I swear.. I try..
I was so close to graduating the academy... law enforcement, The look on their faces when I showed my badge. I can’t explain the constant race my heart began every time I thought about it.. the money I would make. I could finally get her pancreas fixed.. shes been in pain so long. One month... one fucking month when she called me. Time is beating me.. beating me bad. that month would be too late. I panic and I drop out, I contact my dad’s boss. I need a ship and I need a stim route now.... please... the ship I'm given... I was told it was his.. how?.. how did my dad’s boss get his ship from him? that meant he was dead... I dismissed the news like he had just told me the weather for the day. I didn't care about his life. A ship needs a name... my law books came to mind. Actus Reus.. means the guilty act.. I felt like the twisted honesty would some how make the following actions.. better.
It was so easy.. I felt like he was there to help me.. every time I got stuck on what to do next the answer came to my mind in a sudden and loud moment. Like being whispered into my ear. I don’t believe in ghosts... I don’t... And I think someone else had this ship after my father did.. there was.. trash in here. kid clothes? no older than ten.
Time won.. I got the call.. she died, I was too late. My world crumbled, what little bit I had lifted for myself I had thrown down to try to catch her and I missed.. I turned around to watch it all fall.. I got low.. I got careless.. "stims? are these yours sir?" The chill that went through me could have shook me to pieces..
The boss was smart though. Not sure how but the case was dropped before it started. I tried to go back to the academy but they knew what had happened.. they looked back and found my relation to my father. So there I stood outside the academy.. a locked door, and back at my home, another locked door.. I turned to my ship and its wide open cargo bay.. my life was before me..
I tried to save her.. I.. I jumped... life first, into what I thought I needed to do.. into action... but I realized later that it wasn’t what she wanted.. she wanted me. she didn’t want to be saved, she wanted me to come home and be with her... be with her until the clock stopped. I... Jumped.. I jumped into action and lost everything. and I thought I just hadn’t jumped hard enough.. so I jumped again and again.. every time someone needed me.. when Torri was being threatened by.. ..someone.. I jumped to sheath that blade with my own corpse.. maybe then I wouldn’t fail.. ...again and again.. and I keep jumping... until it kills me? well it already did... death didn’t want me. so I jump... I cant let them down and I cant let another person die because I’m not good enough.. so I train hard now and... I jump.
I don’t know why I'm still typing, who will read this far? I hope no one.. its too long and too whiny... I'm gonna delete it. My problems are a splinter compared to everyone else’s. so I don’t tell it. How I feel and what I have to do, I crack jokes.. I get sighed at and written off... yes that’s where I need to be, written off to the background. I love each and every person that I shared my nights with at the Bar... but time beat me again.. they left or died. And the ones still there aren’t the same. the fun nights are gone all that’s left is this school.. I cant let it die too. Hez... he makes all the right choices.. every time. I got into a file I wasn’t supposed to, his logs. I cant fail him. This is the first solidity his life has seen and I'm a pillar in it? I cant be reckless like last time... must not jump.. gotta think first.. can't fuck this up Thayta.. you just cant.
Action: ::Delete Log::
Are you sure? <Yes> <No>
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::Server shut down due to inactivity in 5 minutes::
::Server shut down due to inactivity in 4 minutes::
::Server shut down due to inactivity in 3 minutes::
::Server shut down due to inactivity in 2 minutes::
::Server shut down due to inactivity in 1 minute::
Autosaving..... Autosaving...
::Shutting Down::
::End Log::
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